Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Marriage and costs...

Yesterday I went to my cousin sister's registration..registration means something that is between nichayathatham and marriage where they officially become husband and wife..The function happened in a beautiful serene place in Surrey..Very far from my house..The place was like a castle and only selected guests were invited..It was a pompous function..All guests were assigned tables!! U cant go and sit on some other table! Ok the point of the post is - I wanted to point out some issues in Srilankan marriages..It may be true to Indian marriages as well..Namma oorla - the marriage costs including registeration is always by the bride's family!! And only the reception is done by the bridegroom! And he wuld invite only some families whereas for marriage his entire battalion wuld be coming! Enna porutha varai - I feel this is not right and moreover having ceremonies for registration , marriage and reception is totally useless! Enna porutha varai its imperative for the bride and bridegroom to understand each other - rather than having people looking at u in awe! That too our SL Tamil ppl just come to these functions to gossip around! Ponnuko or payanuko ethavuthu kurai iruntha they start talking abt it..They talk abt the bride's saree! They dont do anything useful! Haa - and another thing they do - is look out for mappilais and ponnus for their children! There were 2 women questioning me yesterday as if they were interviewing me and it seems they have daughters!! In SL - even if u go to a death ceremony there are ppl who do this!!!!!

I have always been arguing with my family that if I get married - I will invite not more than 20 ppl from my family and friends :) - and probably hope the girl does the same thing - and have the cheapest low key wedding ever (not more than 1000 pounds probably ;) )! No registration or reception functions! My sister tells me what if the girl doesnt agree to this! :)..Hmm, interesting question - no answer!Anyway, I have told my mother and family this! No pompous celebrations, no wasting money, no people looking at u in awe - nothing! Simple is the key!

My sister asked me where wuld u take my wife after marriage - and I replied "Tiruvanamalai for girivalam"!!! En thangachi thalaila kaiya vachutu odi poiduchu!

22 Comments:

Anonymous vidhyalakshmi said...

Tmalai girivalama...???
rhombha thaan... paapom paapom, enna pannreenga nu?
but anna, neenga SL nu particulara mention panni irukeenga, not like that, ellorume appadi thaan. so adha thaniya mention pannaadheenga.
simple wedding...--- i agree with u, but ponnu accept pannikanum.

7:38 AM, May 30, 2006  
Blogger Parvati said...

If marriage is going to be only once in a lifetime, then it is understandable that it be full of pomp and show. If there are going to be many marriages in a person's life then one can be simple, the other with a thousand and so on and so forth :-D. So you should decide how it is going to be in your life! JUST KIDDING JUST KIDDING.
I agree totally with you - weddings should be short and sweet and marriages long and spanning 50-70 years!

7:57 AM, May 30, 2006  
Anonymous karthik said...

You want a simple and low profile wedding..Good..But It's easier said that done. Believe me. I too had similar thoughts but all I could manage to do was to cancel the Jaanavasaam, where they take the groom around the streets in a stupid car..

You will have to compromise on certain things if you want to keep both the families happy...

8:46 AM, May 30, 2006  
Blogger ada-paavi!!!! said...

pesama how bout odi poi kalyanam? appo samae low key, or like in damil movies gabtun padam style in police station? then cops will bear all selavu, idu eppidi irukku?

9:50 AM, May 30, 2006  
Blogger TJ said...

ok, ok.
Invitation laye, 'This is just FYI. You need not strain yourself to attend the wedding' nu print pannidu. :P

12:24 PM, May 30, 2006  
Anonymous Kaartika said...

Low budget kalyanama? Nalla idea, but 20 people are too less. Neenga yaare invite panrengalo, enna mattum invite panannum! Kalyanathuku late a vandalum, latest a vandiduven, correcta sapudre nerathuku vandiduven... ;-)

5:58 PM, May 30, 2006  
Blogger Usha said...

parkalam...invite us to your marriage ;)

7:35 PM, May 30, 2006  
Blogger வேதா said...

aha arjun, unga plan paatha, seekiramey ethirparkalam pola. neenga enna invite panalenalum parava illa, aal kuraipu seiyrenu ponna invite panna maranthuda poreenga;) appuram muthalukey mosamaidum. appuram intha kalyanathula vanthu 'unga ponnu enna panra ippa? unga paiyan US-lenthu vanthutaara' enbathu ponra kelvigal ellar kalyanthuleyum undu:) appuram in our marriages, all the selavu including engagement, marriage etc,etc.. all ponnu veetukara thalai mela thaan.:( u know intha selavu enra matter mattum share pannikitangana 2 days wedding apdingarthu oru nalla jollya thaan irukum:)

2:39 AM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Shuba said...

enna arjunaa...veetla ponnu paathuttangala poruppa yosikkringa....neenga selavu pannalana yaarala selavu panna mudiyum?????????????haaahahahaa

4:31 AM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Ms.Congeniality said...

U are perfectly right abt the ppl attend marriages mainly for gossiping or finding a proper match for son/daughter. Enga veetu kalyaanathula laam neriyaa vaati relatives and so called family friends naala neriyaa prachanai vandhuruku. But kandipa most parents would like to conduct their son/daughter's wedding in a pompous manner, idhula society pathi laam vera yosika vendi iruke

4:55 AM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Vidhya - :))..yow tiruvanamalai pora mathri vera santhosham engayavuthu varuma? :)

8:25 AM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Parvati - LOL :))..intha kalathula even many marriages r celebrate in a pompous way :))..

8:26 AM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Karthik - u married????

8:26 AM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

ada-paavi - super idea boss :P lol - wow man just imagine marrying in front of captain ;)

8:26 AM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

TJ - experience pesuthu ::))

8:27 AM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Kaarthika - u know that ur in the defacto list :P lol

8:27 AM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Usha - wuld do :)

8:33 AM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Veda - very true pa :)..i think its high time - the boy's family also shares the costs :)..very true :)

8:40 AM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Shuba - nakkalu?? :))

8:40 AM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Ms Cong - Amen - yes enga family-layum neraya pirachinai vanthu iruku..I think the rule of the thumb here is never allow any of ur relatives to interfere..Keep them in a distance when it comes to marriage and family life! Else there r ppl who r ready to spoil things!

8:41 AM, May 31, 2006  
Blogger Viji said...

"Simple is the key" correct dhan... to a certain extent. adhuku nu 20 per mattum invite panradhellam over. panam edhuku... pooti vechukkava? selavazhikka dhana? :P This is a way of getting your relatives and friends together, who don't get a chance to do so, otherwise...
LOL @ Tiruvannamalai giri valam...

11:10 AM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

yow viji - intha relatives vanthu sumava irupanga - ethavuthu nottai solluvanga - so its better not to invite them :)

8:29 AM, June 02, 2006  

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